Sunday, August 22, 2010

If You Always Do What You Have Always Done

Then you always get what you've always got. That a favorite saying of my husband. Too bad he doesn't apply it to us. US is a funny word for US, I think. US is when there are two people who are supposed to be united as one, I think. So how do I get HIM to realize there is supposed to be an US. WE have a problem, WE wanted to work on it. WE have been looking for solutions. WE have been waiting and searching and hoping for nearly two years now. WE have not found a solution. Why? Because HE is okay with "always doing what WE have always done". I am not. HE is uncomfortable talking about it - to me or anyone else, medical or psychological. I am tired of waiting to become an US. I am tired of sleepless (on my part) nights. I am tired of not being considered as important enough to be considered. I am tired - just plain tired. I want to tell him so. I want to give him an ultimatum. I want to say that We no longer have a problem because WE have done all WE can do. I want to let HIM know that now it is time for HIM to act or I will. I want to say that I am tired of not having my needs met and if HE is not willing to realize that while HE is content, I am not then I will make other arrangements. I want to tell him I am moving into MY own room and it will remain MINE until HE decides HE wants there to be an US. Is this too much to ask?

1 comment:

  1. I think I just read your entire blog. It sort of made me feel heard. I too am a PW. A young, new one. And it was a bad day. A really bad day.

    My thoughts are with you, and maybe some prayers if I am disciplined enough today.

    Keep blogging. Let it out. And maybe one day you can confide in someone you love and trust. Who knows, maybe we will meet one day. I'm next door in Indiana ;)