Sunday, October 24, 2010

Never Having To Say A Word

Hubby and I had breakfast yesterday with my sister, brother-in-law, and uncle. It is quickly obvious that hubby and I are unnecessary to the conversation, we are just there as filler. Although we live closer to my uncle, we rarely see him and his wife (who was absent from yesterday's meeting) unless we have been invited by my sister to tag along.

My uncle (my late father's oldest sibling) is 89 years old. He still drives, has a enormous circle of friends, and holds down a full-time job. My sister is also the oldest in our family, drives the sick and needy to appointments, has an enormous circle of friends, and, though retired, still does consulting work. They are the most educated members of our very large, extended family. Uncle is short twelve hours of having his doctorate. I do not know when his finished his college education but I would assume it was somewhere just past WWII, which he served in, because he says Uncle Sam paid for his education. My sister, who does have a doctorate, mentioned that she could teach him the classes necessary for those twelve hours.

Breakfast, at a local restaurant, lasted about two hours. It was two hours of an "I can top that" kind of conversation between uncle, sister, and brother-in-law. Hubby and I just sat back, ate, and did our "filler" job as best we could since we are not college educated, well-traveled, nor do we have an enormous circle of friends (and certainly none we could name drop). It was two hours of "I had dinner last night with my friend, who is a relative of Woody Hayes"; "at a party for my son-in-law, who is retiring from the military as a Colonel"; "as I said to Rudy Giuliani"; "on my last trip to Hawaii"; "when I was in Russia"; "my grandson's college graduation"; "I was seated next to Menachem Begin"; "I had just built a million dollar building when I sold the business"; "I'm having trouble finding the part I need for my antique car". Getting the picture?

I love my sister, and I love my uncle, but I am not a competitive person. I have accomplishments too - maybe none they would think worthy of entering into their conversations - but certainly monumental to me. I travel, on weekend getaways with hubby, vacations with family and friends, hospital visits to the sick and dying. I've even been to Hawaii, where I visited with a foreign ambassador and his family in their home. I have grandchildren in college. I have a granddaughter in high school taking college classes. I have two grandchildren in junior high taking high school classes. I have grandchildren in the honor society. I have grandchildren in the gifted and talented program. I have a grandson just out of the Army - not an officer, just a wounded and decorated corporal, who woke up one night with an Iraqi soldier standing over him ready to plunge a knife into him, who was shot seven times, who had three separate head wounds from mortar attacks. I also have a grandson who is a lost soul, with brain trauma from too many diabetic seizures, who will never be a rocket scientist, who will probably never hold a decent job, but a soul we are grateful to still have with us. I also have a granddaughter who probably will be a rocket scientist someday. I have a daughter who is a nurse, caring and delightful to be around. I have a son who has built homes for the poor and needy. I have a daughter who takes beautiful pictures, and another one who bakes pretty cakes for weddings and birthday parties. I have a husband who preaches wonderful sermons, performs weddings, and will probably preach the funeral of this very same uncle - someday.

So, while my life may not seem interesting to them, I am accomplished in a way that is more than satisfying to me. I do not have to announce my triumphs to the world - or to my family, I think they already know.


  1. I have read through all of your blogs & I truly
    can't understand behavior such as your husbands.
    How heart breaking to live such a life. I wonder why it is you haven't blogged in several
    months & am curious about those months.
    I, too, am a pw so I understand the ministry
    hardships & the consequences in allowing others
    to know to many personal details of our life.
    May the Lord continue to give you grace in this marriage.

  2. Thank you for your comment. I am not a very organized person and life gets in my way. So I was very lazy the past few months and had lots of company from Thanksgiving to New Years. We also had some illness. I would like to say things are back to normal now but there is nothing normal about my life. God bless you and I hope to write more soon.