Thursday, March 4, 2010


I have decided that it is about time I began to share my invisibility issues with you. Now if you are assuming that as a pastor's wife these issues stem from living in his shadow, you would be wrong. It is him - I am invisible to him. I am an after thought at best to the things that go on in his life. There has always been an element of his life that I am left out of. I have not always been told, well, anything, everything, or the truth for that matter. Today I will start with just a very minor incident.

Up is the second movie I gave my husband for Christmas, along with Julie and Julia from my last blog. Why, you say? Why give a catoon movie to an adult. Because Up is my husband. I had seen enough of the movie promos to know the main character was so much like my husband that it was scary. He even looks just like my late father-in-law, who incidentally is appearing more and more frequently shaving in our bathroom mirror everyday. Even our grandchildren who had seen the movie recognized the similarities to their grandfather.

I have heard that grown men have cried watching this movie. The beginning, where the plot is set, is so sweet and endearing that I can certainly see how any self-respecting husband could shed a tear or two. I too became misty eyed as the young boy grows into manhood, finds and marries his one true love, only to loose her before they can complete their life-long dream of travel and adventure. Okay, I cried buckets, but then I am supposed to, I am a woman after all.

Hubby on the other hand remained his usual stern unmoving self. Not a sniffle, not even a sigh. Nothing. No reaching for my hand nor an "I don't know what I would do if I lost you". Nothing. Well not exactly nothing. He did say - "I guess Sally was right". (Sally is a co-worker) He went on to tell me she had watched the movie with her mother and her mother had commented that the old man reminded her of someone but she couldn't quite say who. To which Sally replied that it was (my husband) and her mother said "you're right it is". Cute story right - unless you are me and are wondering how Sally's mother knew my husband well enough to know this.

My only encounter with Sally or her mother was at Sally's wedding and I only remember a handshake in the receiving line. So I asked, and he replied that he had run into them at a resturant when he had gone out to lunch one day. I wonder how you can learn this much about someone in this short time. Lest you think I am reading more into this than it is, there was a hesitation before he explained the lunch story and this is not the first time I have heard that same hesitation. I know, this is a silly story, but I assure you it does get worse. This I could live with - if the same kind of thing had not happened so very many times before.

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